Nausea

Have you ever been so nauseated that you wished you could actually vomit on command to vomit it all out get some semblance of relief?
I reckon that is how sadness comes. As a big bout of nausea. So much so that you pray to every god in heaven to be able to vomit it out. But how do you vomit out sadness? Its just inherently always there. Just always.

Its a sadness that comes in waves. Big waves in a sea and you keep sinking. You keep trying to keep your head above the water but there's only so much you can tread. There is nothing but water. You keep treading the water. The waves keep getting bigger. Almost as if your presence in the water is giving power to the waves and they grow bigger each time. Your arms get heavier as they tire out. You slowly start to give up.

How do you vomit out sadness?

Midnight Valentine

​it took oceans in-between to brings us together

we spoke in abundance and dainty kind

but somewhere it never rhymed

when we used to chime, Midnight Valentine

 

hearts were broken

in dreams we wept

 

lovers lost, but friends we gained

maybe in a land that doesn't matter, we will forever reign



*lack of grammar is intentional* 

Tea with Mona Eltahawy

Image Credits: Mallika Mahidar

It all started at JLF this year. JLF 2016. Yes, that’s the year I had the absolute pleasure of hearing Mona Eltahawy speak. Now, I must confess, I hadn’t known much about her before this. I knew she was a journalist, but I lacked the knowledge that her essays had been compiled into book form named Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution. 

So there I was at one of the JLF sessions, named “After the Arab Spring”, with an extensive panel of Mona Eltahawy, Sulaiman Addonia, Omar Barghouti, Vali Nasr, and Laleh Khalili, which was moderated by Gerard Russell (watch here). A learned panel of feminists and professors alike, how could I have missed it? She was the first person in the panel to speak and the moment she did, she was met with thunderous applause all over the Mughal Tent. I was already inspired.

Anyway, it all started with a tweet. Mona (look at all this liberty I take to write with just her first name) tweeted about being in Bombay, and I feel so lucky to have spotted that tweet right away. I tweeted back to her about how I had introduced her book to my book club, Bombay BYOB. Assuming she might be speaking somewhere, I asked her if she was here for an event or a lecture somewhere, as I would have loved to hear her again and possibly drag members of my book club as well. And then, the best thing happened. She tweeted back saying she wasn’t speaking at any event, but she would love to meet us! What? A celebrated, inspiring author, who has inspired millions, fought for basic human rights, would be willing to meet us? I was sitting in office, hyperventilating at her response. It took me a few minutes to get over the fact that she was so cool. A few DMs later, it was arranged. I hadn’t been this happy in a long time. 

Tweet of the Year

At the Lighthouse Cafe in Worli

We ended up in a cafe in Worli. It was one of those lazy hours of the afternoon where we ordered up obscene amounts of tea and spoke about the world. We spoke about the rights and the wrongs of the world. We spoke about the politics of the world. We spoke about our personal lives and how everyday things affected us. We spoke about love and sex. We spoke about FGM that is not just prevalent in countries such as Mauritania, but the substantial Bohra community just 2 or so kilometres away from my house. We spoke about growing up in Muslim households. We spoke about growing up in countries that are always on the brink of revolution. I’ve never been to Egypt, but I felt that through Mona and her book, I know the kind of place she grew up in as if I was there as well. I realised that the plight of women is same across the world. Religion and culture are wonderful things until they’re molded in a way that oppresses womankind. Just through this one thought, I feel connected to women all over the world; women who have lived through revolutions like Mona has, women still oppressed, such as the Yazidi women under ISIS-controlled territory. If the world has taught us anything, it is that “being a woman anywhere is dangerous”.

So, why am I writing about about meeting one of the most inspiring women I’ve known of? I’ll let Mona Eltahawy’s words answer that: “The most subversive thing a woman can do is talk about her life as if it really matters. It does.”

“When I travel and give lectures abroad and I'm asked how best to help women in my part of the world, I say, help your own community's women fight misogyny. By doing so, you help the global struggle against hatred of women.” - Mona Eltahawy

The Myth of the Disposable Sanitary Pad

An average woman, in the modern industrialised society, will menstruate 450 times in her life and spend approximately 3,500 days menstruating.

“If every woman of reproductive age in India started to use disposable sanitary napkins, it is estimated that waste from the staggering amount of 58,500 million pads would be generated each year.”

Let those numbers sink in for a moment.

Wonder where those 58,500 million pads would go? Let’s talk about the magical journey of a sanitary napkin once it has been used. First, it is wrapped into the packaging provided by the the company, usually a bright coloured plastic sheet with a little tape on the end. Then, it’ll either be wrapped in an additional layer of tissue or waste-paper depending on how lazy you are, and finally be thrown in the dust-bin. Next morning, the garbage will be picked up and it will be thrown into a landfill. Or burnt. Whichever is easier. If it does go into a landfill, one disposable sanitary pad is estimated to take up to 500 years to decompose. If it is burnt, the various plastic components of the pad will release all sorts of nasty fumes into the atmosphere.

That’s not all though. Have you ever thought of what goes into the making of that cottony-soft, super white and disposable pad or tampon?

"Billions of sanitary towels and tampons are churned out every year, causing the felling of trees and carbon emissions during their production and further harm to the environment in their long, lingering deaths on one of the world’s already full-up landfills."

We associate the colour white with being extremely clean, sterilised and/or pure (it might have something to do with the same ideology that keeps fairness creams in such massive demands even today, but that's a different blog-post). These pads are, in fact, NOT clean or sterilised. Made in a machine, there are various toxins that go into a disposable, namely: 

• Dioxin, a chemical used to bleach the fibers of disposables. It causes cancer and is toxic.
• Asbestos, which in addition to being cancer-causing, it increases (this may seem incredible) your bleeding.
• Rayon, a super absorbent synthetic material that leaves fibers behind helping toxins accumulate inside your body, that favour infections along with Toxic Shock Syndrome.

“In addition to the environmental problems created by disposable sanitary products, the health effects are alarming. According to The Green Mama, most major brands of tampons and menstrual pads, such as Playtex, O.B., Tampax and others, use chlorine bleach to whiten their products. Keep in mind that the bleaching process does not sterilise anything – it only ensures that the products are white. The process results in the production of dioxin – a type of “organochlorine” as is DDT, PCBs and Agent Orange – that is linked to cancer, especially breast cancer, immune system suppression, endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, and low sperm count.”

Eco Femme's Full Cycle Kit

After I read more about it, I could not go back to using disposable pads. Not only was I being wasteful but I was actually contributing to a massive ecological crisis, five-pads-a-day/five-days-a-month. I had, unfortunately, fallen for the myth that using disposables is my only option. The first thing I did was Google the various alternatives available - reusable cloth pads and menstrual cups, though the cup’s availability in India is an issue. I decided to stick to reusable pads. Before I actually ordered any, I read and then re-read everything about re-usable pads after which I decided to order Eco Femme’s Full Cycle Kit.

"Eco Femme is a global women’s empowerment initiative. Rising from rural India, reaching out to women around the world, we promote and revitalize menstrual practice that are healthy, dignified, affordable and eco positive."

BAMF of the day

I must admit that in the beginning, I was extremely awkward about re-usable sanitary pads. “Do I really want to wash a bloody pad when I can just wrap it and throw it away?” And then it hit me. That is the exact mentality that leads us to believe that disposable pads are good; a myth that is further perpetuated by the Fortune 500 companies that profit by them. Lakhs upon lakhs are spent on advertising the disposable, where cloth is conveniently thought of as unclean, unsanitary and backwards.

Want 99% in your exams? Use a disposable pad!

Want to go on a vacation? Use a disposable pad!  

Want to be a successful journalist/teacher/actor/doctor? Use a goddamn disposable pad!

Even to this day, menstrual blood and it’s “taboos” are used by men to control and manipulate women. Menstrual blood is symbolised not as something powerful, as it should be, but as something abominable, disgusting and a dirty waste product that has no role in the reproductive process.

"We are conditioned to believe that menstruation is something to be kept secret, to be ashamed of and to hide; even that menstrual blood is ‘dirty’. But why, when periods are the stuff of life? After all, menstrual blood is what nurtures and protects a developing foetus in the womb. Furthermore, who is responsible for keeping this thinking alive?"

Now, before this post turns into some sort of patriarchy or a feminist piece, and I am endlessly trolled by the haters, I’m going to get on with what I did after the guilt hit me. I’d like to include that I haven’t been paid for any anything and I purchased the Full Cycle Kit at full price, including the handling and shipping charges.

“Healthy, dignified, affordable and eco positive.” Those words hooked me in when I was surfing Eco Femme’s website. Eco Femme’s Full Cycle Kit is a pack of 7 premium pads and 1 travel pouch. Okay, these pads are freakin’ beautiful. The travel pouch is meant for you to carry a clean pad while going out and bring back the soiled one, but, it is so adorable that I’ve already decided I’ll use it for other purposes. The kit also comes with a guide on how to use the pads, wash instructions and a menstrual tracking chart (I have an app for that) and all of it is packaged in recycled material full of flowery motifs.

The Night Pad

The Night Pad

I’ve never felt comfort like this before. It is the largest pad in the kit. A bit on the thicker side, I would say that this pad is the thickest of them all, like a Maxi disposable is. It is highly absorbent. It’s a little wider at one end, like any of the disposable night pads on the market. I wear the wide end in the front as I mostly sleep either on my sides or on my tummy and it makes more sense to wear it this way. The only con of this pad is that since it’s thicker than the rest and wider at one end, it is  difficult to fold it up like the others; however, since you’re not going to be wearing it outside in the day, the need to do so is eliminated. It is fluffy and has an earthy brown cloth at the side you wear up and stripey on the back (as are the others). The kit contains one night pad.

The Day Plus Pad

Day Plus Pads

This pad is the second largest in the kit. Since all the pads are made of the same material, the comfort level is the same. This pad is a bit thicker than an Ultra disposable pad, but not as thick as a Maxi disposable. This pad too is highly absorbent. Actually, the absorbency level is the same on all of the pads. It’s perfect for my heavy-flow days, usually the first 2 days. Now I’ve worn this pad to college and then gone to work (I'm a legit intern!) right after, and in between I’ve changed it in the office bathroom, and not once have I had a leak or a stain. At first, I found it a bit uneasy to carry a bloody little pad in my bag till I reached home, but then I got over it. The pad folds up nicely and those little pins stay shut until pried open. Put it in a little baggie (the cute one provided in the kit) and you're good to go. The pad is a nice purple shade on the side you wear up and green (with stripes) on the back. The kit contains two of these.

The Day Pad

Day Pads

Smaller than the Day Plus Pad, this one is a nice bright pink on the side you wear up. The size is perfect for my low-flow day, the fourth day, or for when I am at home and can change more frequently than I can if I’m outside. If I am home on my regular-flow day, the third day usually, I prefer this, but if I were to go out on the same day, I would wear a Day Plus Pad simply because it’s a bit bigger. The absorbency again, is the same as the other pads so I am not worried about leaks or anything. The size of this is exactly the same as a Stayfree Secure Dry with Wings (230mm), if that helps you visualise it. The kit contains two of these.

  

The Pantyliner

Pantyliners

The smallest of the pads, it is a cobalt blue on the side you wear up. This pad seems a little thinner than the rest, but since it’s meant to be worn for when you’re spotting, so that doesn't seem like an issue, and the absorbency is perfect for that day. The kit contains two of these.

All the pads, except for the Night Pad, are the same in width. They only differ in length by about an inch or so. The Night Pad, since it’s wider on one end, is the only one that is different due it’s width. Of course, they’re all in different colours as stated above. They also have an additional PUL layer in the end, though I’m unsure if the PUL layer extends till the wings.

In the beginning, I thought I would feel gooey all the time, but these pads soak it all up instantaneously, as a disposable would do. Disposables have a way to make you bleed more since they are designed to pull up all the fluid and turn into the gel stuff they’re always advertising. Hence it makes you bleed more, which obviously is unhealthy. As far as any odour is concerned, everyone knows that your menstrual blood is supposed to be odourless. The smell emits from the disposable as soon as it comes in contact with the blood.  The moment a disposable is worn, it starts to disintegrate and the plastic starts to smell foul and that is exactly why pad companies come up with various perfumed pads. And how does a pad smell better? More chemicals. I’ve used the reusable cloth pads for 4 of my periods now and not once did anything smell foul or dirty. Here’s the thing, if your menses does smell funky, you need a doctor not a perfumed pad.

Left to dry

When it comes to washing the reusable sanitary pad, I simply wet them in the basin with cold water, put a little hand wash and gently rub both ends of the pad against itself. I then wash it again with water until the water runs clean,I squeeze it gently couple of times (when you squeeze brownish red water will be expelled). On my third or fourth squeeze, the water will run clear and that’s when I know the pad is clean. The pad can be put out to dry, however it’ll take a lot of time since it’ll be dripping wet. Instead, I prefer tossing it in the washing machine for an extra wash and so it can tumble dry. Now, I won’t use the machine to wash one or two pads, so depending on when the laundry is being done on that day I decide how to store the pad until it can be machine washed. If the laundry is set to be done in a couple of hours, I’ll toss it in. If I’ve missed the laundry (if my dad does it, he does it awfully early in the morning as opposed to my mum, who does it around 2pm), I put the damp pad (it's clean of any blood) in a little bucket of water and then put it in. I’ve hand washed these pads with a foaming face wash twice now (it was an emergency!) and it still cleaned out pretty well. Oh, but before tossing them in the machine or a bucket, I do ensure to put in a few drops of Dettol and some rosewater because, why not? Once they are done in the machine and tumble dried, I pin them on a hanger and hang them in sunlight. After tumble drying, they dry up in about two to three hours. Done. FYI, never use hot water to wash them as the stains will set. There are lots of tutorials and videos on YouTube that will show you how to wash these kinds of pads.

Folded Pads

Eco Femme claims that 7 pads are more than enough for one menstrual cycle. Living in a humid city such as Bombay/Mumbai, during the monsoons, I believe that 7 pads are not enough as they don’t dry all that quickly, even when tumble dried. On rainy days, I would hang them up in a well-ventilated room with the fan on and they would still take some time to dry as opposed to the October heat we’re subjected to at the moment. It would be great if they increased the number of pads to 3 for the Day Plus and Day Pads and 2 Night Pads in the kit. Then again, these can be purchased separately as well. You could also buy 2 kits instead and be done with it (what I did). Another concern of mine are the wings. I wish the cotton layers extended till the wings. Just a personal preference.

The sizes of each

The cost of these pads may be on the higher side since the cost is 1575 rupees, however, I have spent more than that amount in the past for a year's worth of disposable pads. The price of these pads is a one-time cost since I don't see the need of buying any more disposables for at least a few years, when these are seriously worn out. Even then, I would just buy a new kit of these cloth pads. If you're a DIY kind of a person, there are various designs available online, along with tutorials so you can just sew them up yourself.

I am a complete convert to cloth sanitary napkins. They are eco-friendly, dignified and so comfortable. These pads will easily last me for years to come, Eco Femme claims that their pads last up to 5 years when cared for properly. If this isn't reason enough for you to go ahead and make the healthy choice, you can go ahead and buy just one pad, or make it on your own and use it when you're home. Even if you were to use a reusable, washable pad only at night or when you're lounging around at home imagine the amount of waste that will be reduced in a year. Goonj NJPC (Not Just a Piece of Cloth) also offers a similar pad, and Azaadi offers a 100% biodegradable one, though I'm not sure where you can purchase them. You could also experiment with the Shecup if you want to go ahead with a menstrual cup, though keeping it in for 12 hours makes me a bit squeamish. It can be ordered online and apparently, gets delivered within a week. If you want to buy a Full Cycle Kit of premium pads by Eco Femme, click here.

If you have any queries, leave them in the comment section below or tweet to me at @IsAnathema. Click on the pictures to view the full size. I'll be putting up some images on Instagram (again, @IsAnathema) as well; mostly the same images as above, but probably with a filter, and the hashtags: #PeriodOfChange #ProudToBleed, so if you want to share this post, those are the hashtags to use.

How To Study

It's 9am, great time to wake up
But how do I study, without any breakfast?
Eggs, toast, with grapefruit and coffee, after this I'll go and study.

10am, okay, good. Let's go back and study.
Books, pens, loose papers and more rubbish
How do I study in this mess?
I'll have to clean up, even mom will be happy
After this, I'll go and study.

Noon it is. Best time to study.
But I just cleaned up all the gunk, my hair is all dusty
How do I study, when I'm all smelly?
Shampoo, conditioner, and exfoliation
After a shower, I'll go and study.

An hour later, I should study.
My hair is dripping, I'll catch a cold
How do I study if I'm battling pneumonia?
I'll blow-dry my hair, but while I'm at it
Here's the concealer, lipstick and kohl.
After this, I'll go and study.

2pm, now I'll study.
But it's lunch time, and I'm so hungry
How do I study, with my tummy grumbling?
Pizza it is, a Waikiki from Joey's,
In the meanwhile, I'll watch TV.

3pm, and the food is yet to arrive.
What could take so long,
For a large Waikiki, garlic bread, juice with a chocolate mousse?
Ah! The doorbell, it's the delivery
After this, I'll go and study.

4pm, that was a steal.
How can I study, after that tropical ordeal?
A nap, just for a bit, not more than a few minutes
I'll rest up, then I'll study.

7pm, wait, WHAT?
I'm never napping again!
Let me gather all my books
Wait, it's Jo's phone, it must be important or she'd never call
When she knows I'm studying.
"He said what...? No way  he did!"
"Ofcourse I can talk, after this, I'll go and study."

9pm, it's dinnertime. I should study.
But it's also family time
Salad, rice and sambhar, where was this food in the afternoon?
Cake for dessert? Instagram. #BestDayEver
Likes are rolling in, after this, I'll go and study.

11pm, now I should study.
But if I go to bed now, I can wake up an hour early, just to study.
Yes, I'll do that, I'll set the alarm for 8 and then I'll study.

12:30am, under the sheets.
Google.
"How to study?"
Enter.

The Ball

It was the last day of her trip, and she had an invitation to a fancy ball. She didn’t want to go. There were a hundred reasons not too. 

“I don’t have a dress.”

“I don’t know anyone there.”

“It gets over too late.” 

“I don’t feel that great.”

“It is too far.”

But her friends would hear none of it. She did have legitimate reason not to go. The invite came too late; she had nothing to match the dress code.
“Listen, no one is going to adhere to the dress code anyway. Wear whatever.” 

She honestly knew no one there.
“You know us.” The rag-tag team of 3 people she had met two days before. 

It did get over late.
“We’ve hired a car. We’ll drop you.”

The cold weather (she came from warmer shores) had taken a toll as she had traveled non-stop for days with little sleep. She didn’t feel great and to top that, she was leaving early the next morning.
“Suuure, you’re not feeling good.” She was in the hotel room, at the desk with a copy of Annie Zaidi’s Gulab, and had only finished the first page. 

It was too far.
“Like I said, we’ve already hired a car and we’ll drop you.”

Fine.

She went in the bathroom, washed her face, put on the last pair of clean clothes she had. They were sort of close to the dress code, but mainly they were clean. Although it didn’t matter, since it was too cold and everyone would have to cover up eventually to stay warm. It wasn’t anything snazzy or over the top, but she was just glad that it was a bit formal. She put on a pair of earrings and was out of the door and in the car within a minute. 

They spoke about the Dalai Lama in the car. Conversation was endless with these people she known for a few days, but they’d been together for these days yet the endless conversation didn’t bore her. She rarely found such people in her own home-town. There, people wanted to make money. She did too, but not the pace her counterparts were going at it. These people spoke about travel and books and about the other people they had met on similar travels. She opened the window on her side to let the cold air in as she wondered if they would ever tell a story about her. The car stopped. They stepped out. She wanted to be in bed, but now she was there, what could she do? 

There was a grand entrance to the ball. There were jugglers and dancers and fire-eaters and rope-walkers. There were numerous little bonfires lit around the place to keep people warm. It was a modern day ball, so right up ahead there was a stage, well lit, yet seamlessly integrated with the dim lighting all around. The local band was already playing the folk music of the village. She was relieved there was no ‘BUT FIRST LET ME TAKE A SELFIE’ playing. Candle lit dinner tables were set a bit further along with fancy plate settings. She picked up a glass of wine from the tray that was presented the moment she entered and looked around. She saw him. Her friends had already found their friends she stood awkwardly as they hugged them and they introduced her to them. She didn’t bother with remembering their names. 

“Let’s go up ahead. They’re already serving dinner. If we go now, we can finish dinner quick and get to the stage before they play their final set.” She didn’t argue. They never left her alone, and she loved that about them and since the band was going to play for another two hours or so, they ate. She was glad she came. It was a great way to end the trip. 

She stood up and once again looked around. There he was, standing by one of the bonfires, immaculately dressed, talking to some people. She turned around and saw her friends dancing already. She joined them. She had this nagging feeling that someone was looking at her. The band that was playing was known worldwide for their folk music. Why would anyone look at her and not them? He was closer now. Someone tapped her shoulder from behind. It was another girl she had met the day before. They hugged, and she realized he stood right behind the girl she’d just hugged. He was standing there, with a drink in his hand, looking around her, and then at the stage. He didn’t look at her. 

“LET’S GO UP AHEAD, I WANT TO TAKE SOME CLEAR PICTURES OF THE BAND.” Her friend yelled into her ear as the music went on. It wasn’t a request, a mere notification, as her friend grabbed her hand and started pushing through the crowd as they went ahead. She turned around, as he was still standing there, looking around her, but not at her. She started to make her way back, back to where the crowd ended and where he stood as he watched over her. She had barely taken a step, when one of her companions interrupted her, “WHERE ARE YOU GOING, THEY’VE  STARTED” “I’M GOING TO GO REFILL THIS” she yelled as she dangled her empty wine glass in front of her mate. “HERE, DRINK MINE, I JUST GOT IT, BUT I SHOULD STOP.” She looked over again, and he still looked around her, not at her. She agreed and took the glass. 

He made his way close to her again. Whenever she spoke to one of her friends, she had to yell because the music was too loud. He could hear bits and pieces mixed in with the symphony of the tabla. She had gone up a bit further but had turned around, but her friend handed her a glass of wine and so she had turned to the stage again. He waited at the same place looking at her sing along with the folk music that played as she swayed with her friends. He was within an earshot. 

Finally there was lull in the music. Since it was folk ensemble, some of the tabla players were getting off-stage to make way for some other instrument players. The main singer was still on stage singing an old song and the area around the stage kept getting crowded. “HEY, I’M GOING TO GO A BIT BEHIND, IT’S GETTING A LITTLE CLAUSTROPHOBIC IN HERE.” She hated crowds. “YEAH, OKAY, LET’S GO.” She wanted to go alone, but they always accompanied her. 

He stood looking, still nursing the same drink in his hand, though it had sweated off, he’d barely taken more than a few sips. She seemed to making her way to the back, but her friends followed as he looked around. He wanted to stand next to her alone for a second, but she was always surrounded by these people. Where the time went, he didn’t know. It was a pleasure to see her laugh and talk to her friends, as she sipped red wine, but whenever she looked his way, he looked away. There was no way to talk to her without invading her entourage. 

“HEY, DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD START GETTING BACK TO THE HOTEL? THAT ONE HAS AN EARLY FLIGHT” said one of her friends, pointing at her but not realizing she didn’t want to leave any more. “YEAH, LET’S GET SOME DESSERT FIRST” She saw a window. The dessert counter was all the way in the back and it was a bit isolated since everyone was still dancing to the music even though it was the end of it. She yelled out. “YEAH, DESSERT.” She knew he heard her. Why else would he make his way back to the dessert area when he hadn’t even eaten? He started walking and her friends, not knowingly followed the same path as him. He turned around once, to make sure she was still there, and there, behind them, she was. 

There were different dessert counters. Twenty feet away from each other, in the opposite direction. She was handed something she didn’t care about and furiously looked around. He wasn’t there. He did the same, but twenty feet away from her, with many people in between. Somewhere in the few feet between them, they had turned to the different counters. They couldn’t see each other. She wanted to leave again. She felt almost violated by a man who never touched her, who never spoke to her, who barely even looked anywhere else but around her. She felt violated because she was being looked out for without even being some annoying damsel in distress who clearly didn’t even wanted to be there in the first place. ‘You know what, fuck this. I want to go home,’ she thought as she looked back at her friends as they enjoyed the sweet delicacies. “Guys, let’s hurry this up.” There was no longer any need to yell as the band was far in the background. She didn’t want anything now. 

She held up one of her friends who was now a bit drunk, most of them were. She wasn’t sure if it was the third glass of wine she had had, or the bitter abandonment from someone she didn’t even know, but there were hints of tears in her eyes. She wanted to get out, and so did her companions since the drunken one was making a bit of a scene. As they neared the exit, the car pulled up. They got in. She got in last, shut the door and rolled down the window. 

There he was. She looked out the window. There he was. Finally, for a moment, they looked at each other. Their eyes met.  For a fleeting moment, their eyes met. Her eyes were moist. His eyes, wanted more. They both looked abandoned by each other. They both look at each other with equal parts of anger at the random universe and equal parts of shame since they never pulled away to talk to each other. They stared into each others souls for a moment and knew they wanted more. They never spoke to each other. They never danced with each other. But, in that one moment, the lived a lifetime with each other. 

The car sped off.

If you do happen to read it and share, please do so with the hashtag #TheBall so it's easier to keep track of. Do leave your comments, should you have any or you can tweet to me @IsAnathema.